NYHOMESTUDY BLOG

Poor Behavior Is Linked to Time in Day Care By

BENEDICT CAREY

A much-anticipated report from the largest and longest-running study of American childcare has found that keeping a preschooler in a day care center for a year or more increased the likelihood that the child would become disruptive in class — and that the effect persisted through the sixth grade.

The effect was slight, and well within the normal range for healthy children, the researchers found. And as expected, parents’ guidance and their genes had by far the strongest influence on how children behaved.
Continue Reading »

For singles adopting:

In a world where families come in all sorts of configurations—two moms, two dads, blended by divorce, you name it—you’d think that single moms would pass unnoticed. But they don’t. Despite a marked increase in single-parent adoptions over the last two decades, I’m frequently questioned about my family and the “missing” parent.

When I became a single, adoptive mom, friends treated me as if I were either crazy or a saint. I’ve had reactions ranging from curious, nosy, and confused to approving, critical, pitying, or some combination of the above. Most children live with two parents. You know that, others know that, and your child knows that—or learns it quickly enough in preschool or kindergarten. One-parent families still cause alarm, and some people don’t hesitate to express concern, especially about how the mom-only child will learn to relate to men. “The Daddy Question” comes from children and adults, acquaintances and strangers—often innocently, sometimes not. Here are some strategies for answering in ways that work.
Continue Reading »

By ANDY NEWMAN Of the 613 laws in the Torah, the one that appears most often is the directive to welcome strangers. The girl once known as Fu Qian has been thinking about that a lot lately.

Three weeks ago, she stood at the altar of her synagogue on the Upper West Side and gave a speech about it.

Fu Qian, renamed Cecelia Nealon-Shapiro at 3 months, was one of the first Chinese children — most of them girls — taken in by American families after China opened its doors to international adoption in the early 1990s. Now, at 13, she is one of the first to complete the rite of passage into Jewish womanhood known as bat mitzvah.
Continue Reading »

This helpful advice is from AdoptionDoctors.com.

List of 17 items

1. Immediately during the post-adoption period, do not over stimulate the child. Avoid trips to Toys-R-Us, Disneyland, and large gatherings. When exposed to this type of environment children tend to have meltdown, hyperactive and out of control
2. Child should be placed in a well-structured routine. Do not allow the child to become the center of attention
3. Families should stay home with child for as long as possible.
4. Expose the child only to close family members during the post-adoption period.
5. One parent should be home with the child for the first couple of months.
6. Exposure to both parents is optimal as long as it is as financially feasible.
7. Avoid daycare immediately after arrival
8. Try to communicate during the first 2-3 months in the child native language.
9. Do not try to force the child to learn English right away, it will come in it own time.
10. Child should stay home with a primary parent as opposed to a nanny or babysitter.
11. If available, have the child socialize with a child from a similar institutional setting and culture.
12. Older children should be enrolled in school as soon as possible.
13. Schools usually place these children in “English as second language program” Insist that the child be placed in mainstream classes. Language will develop rather quickly if the child is exposed to the English language.
14. Post-Institutionalized children tend to become fixated on junk food, such as hot dogs, sweets, chips and soda immediately. Let them eat but not just what they want or like. Set limits. Since they have never had junk food, it becomes an obsession.
15. Initially try to recreate the diet that the children had in the orphanage. Gradually transition them to your families diet slowly over time.
16. In regards to television, avoid shows that have aggressive tendencies. Disney type movies are usually calm, have good language are funny and have good moral values. Children tend to imitate things that they see. Having them watch power rangers is almost a guarantee to have a power ranger in your living room wrecking your furniture very soon.
17. Children need to earn activities and privileges based on their daily performances. Good behaviors need to be rewarded and bad behavior needs to be gently punished by taking away privileges like favorite toys, games for short period of times. Never ever use corporal punishment.

Adopting a post-institutionalized child is a extremely difficult undertaking. If your expectations of international adoption that all that
you need to do is to travel overseas to pick-up a child, put him into GAP clothing and expect him to function in our society without problems, then maybe International Adoption is not for you.

Consistency and complete dedication towards the best interest of the child are mandatory. The immediate gratification of the parents to form a family unit needs to be delayed temporarily. This will help to promote a good long-term prognosis for the post-institutionalized child.

by George Rogu M.D. of adoption doctors

by Miriam Vieni

Reprinted with permission. For more information, contact
Miriam Vieni, New York Home Study Service, 515 Oxford Street, Westbury, NY 11590, (516) 333-4999 or at miriamvieni@optonline.net

---

Many years ago, I wrote an article which appeared in Social Work, defending transracial adoption as a solution for homeless black children. I was writing in response to an article by a black sociologist who was highly critical of the practice of placing black children with white adoptive parents.I still believe that a black child, placed with loving white adoptive parents, is better off than he or she would be in an institution or a foster home, even if the foster parents are black. I also believe that the potential success of a foster home must be judged on an individual basis rather than on the basis of race alone.However, our family has been through several changes since I wrote that article and in addition, I have a good deal more contact with white couples in the N.Y. metropolitan area who have either already adopted black children, or who are contemplating such an adoption. I must admit that I do now have some concerns about the capacity of a large number of these adoptive parents to help their children learn to deal effectively with the problems that will most probably arise as a result of being black in America. There is no doubt in my mind that the white parents of black children whom I have met, very much love their children and will therefore be able to help them develop a basic sense of worth and identity. They will guide their children toward the fulfullment of their individual potentialities.
Continue Reading »

On March 1, the Vice President of Guatemala announced a “Manual of Good Practices” on adoption. The U.S. Ambassador attended the announcement ceremony and has received a copy of the Manual. The Manual sets forth rules that, once implemented, would be important steps toward better protecting children and both biological and adoptive parents in the adoption process in Guatemala.
Continue Reading »