NYHOMESTUDY BLOG

THE FOLLOWING SUGGESTIONS are offered by members of the MAPS Teen Adoptees Group in Portland. New group members are welcome. For more information, contact the group’s advisor, Katie Campbell, at kcampbe7@maine.rr.com or call the Portland office of MAPS Adoption & Humanitarian Aid at 207-772-3678. The group welcomes questions from parents and other kids and can add them to its e-mail Q & A list.

1. Don’t over obsess about it. Stop worrying! We are OK.
2. Don’t make a big deal about adoption issues in public. If someone says something insensitive, be supportive, but do it mostly in private.
3. Adopted kids go through more and grow up a little faster than other kids. We know about teenage pregnancy and poverty and their implications more than other kids.
4. Get as much information as possible about your children’s histories and share it with them. Don’t keep information from us even if it is hard for you to bring it up. It is our information.
5. Teach kids how to stick up for themselves. People will say mean things, show your kids how they should handle it.
6. Our birth culture is very important to us. We feel protective of our culture. It is super important to really know the culture of our biological families, because that is our history.
7. One of our favorite adoption books is “A Mother for Choco.” We still love it!
8. We are not “just Americans” like our parents and others in our communities.
9. Be honest! Don’t hide information, be really open.
10. Prepare to talk about birth parents. We worry about hurting your feelings so we don’t bring it up.
11. No one needs to feel sorry for us. We are happy!
12. Regarding teasing: validate, validate, validate! Don’t say “I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” Don’t try to fix it. Say, “That stinks!”
13. We feel a little sadness on our birthdays. Some of us don’t know the real day and we don’t know the story of our birth. Our birthday represents the day someone left us. Adoption Day is the day someone came to get me.
14. Finally, you often ask us how we feel about being adopted. We want you to think about how YOU feel about us being adopted.

LEARN MORE ONLINE: Support groups for adoptive and foster parents: www.affm.net/content/supportgroups.htm