NYHOMESTUDY BLOG

by
Miriam Vieni, L.C.S.W.

Now that the U.S. is implementing the Hague Treaty on International Adoptions, adoptive parents are being required to take courses to prepare them for the adoption experience. For many, this seems like one more burden added to an arduous adoption process. Having been through the experience of international adoption myself, I understand why people may be feeling negative and resistant about having to take the courses. However, having been involved in conducting adoption home studies since 1974, I see how taking the courses may help potential adoptive parents better understand the issues they may encounter when their newly adopted child joins the family.

Competent social workers have always included the discussion of adoption issues in the home study process, even before such discussion was first required by our Immigration Service back in 1994. We’ve always talked about medical issues, emotional and adjustment issues, and trans-cultural and trans-racial issues. But these discussions haven’t always had the kind of impact for which we’ve hoped. This is probably partly because families are feeling so anxious during the home study process. When people are worried about gathering all the necessary documents for their home studies and their dossiers, and feeling threatened by the evaluative nature of the home study, it’s hard to concentrate and its educational content. So the fact that the educational courses help people focus on issues important in international adoption, in a process that feels more neutral and is separated from direct interaction with the social worker conducting the home study, helps people begin to absorb important information.

Most people adopting internationally, are adopting children who have been living in orphanages. The courses help families understand the impact of institutionalization on children. What does it mean, for example, to live in an institution in which individual attention barely exists, nutrition is limited, stimulation may be non existent, and independence and curiosity are discouraged? How is a child’s ability to make healthy and enduring connections to other people affected by a changing array of care givers? What is the impact on intellectual development of the absence of toys and a minimum of verbal communication? How can one differentiate between behavior caused by neurological damage and that caused by lack of stimulation? What are the affects on family relationships and interaction of the introduction of a new child to the family? How does age impact on the newly adopted child’s behavior, personality, and adjustment? What kinds of help will be needed as the adopted child enters the school system?

All of the questions noted above are concerns for new adoptive parents, and the many courses available to them, help with answers and provide techniques for handling problems. There are a variety of on-line courses as well as those provided by agencies and organizations to help you deal with the complexities of international adoption. So embrace the numerous opportunities for learning that will help you with the wonderful new challenges that await you.

Miriam Vieni, L.C.S.W.
www.nyhomestudy.com
www.nyhomestudy.com/miriam-vieni.htm
www.nyhomestudy.net
miriamvieni@optonline.net
(516) 333-4999
Fax (516) 876-8246

by Andrea Troy

Race in America is forefront in the news. With Barack Obama, a man who is black and white and running for president, it is here with renewed vigor. His candidacy would be even more surprising if we weren’t a country so full of contradictions.

Interracial unions and the biracial offspring they produce have a long, tortured history, from master/slave “relationships” to laws banning miscegenation (the “mixing” of races.) Marriage between blacks and whites was once illegal and statutes remained on the books in some southern states until the very recent past, keeping the stigma alive and well.

It has never been easy or simple to be biracial or part of an interracial family. It complicates life. It raises the potential for emotional dissonance, stress and discomfort. As Obama said, he suffered from unintended racially insensitive remarks his own (white) grandmother who adores him made. But I am sure he’s also heard discriminatory remarks from blacks and people of every race and hue, as we all have.

No “group” is free from stereotypical thinking and prejudice. Not his. Not mine. Not yours. That is important to remember if you are considering transracial adoption.

The term ‘transracial adoption’ used to refer mostly to white parents adopting black children or biracial children, who are also considered black, but over time has become more inclusive.

Controversy arose in the 1970’s and 1980’s in the aftermath of the heady, liberated, ‘let’s love one another 60’s’, when it became apparent we are not all considered equal “under the skin” in cultural currency. Black children who had been adopted by progressive white parents and raised in race neutral environments felt alienated. Society was not race blind, and hearing their parents say it was didn’t make it so. Many of the children were growing up discontented, disconnected, and resentful.

The Association of Black Social Workers decided it was racial genocide to strip black children of their racial heritage—their birthright—by placing them with white families who were not equipped to raise them. They also felt not enough outreach was done to find black families for them. Their assessment and accusation of genocide may have been extreme and politically skewed, but their concerns were valid.

Over time, our ideas about adoption have changed and expanded.

We have come to recognize the needs and rights of birthmothers. We have come to recognize the needs and rights of children and the special needs of children of color. And we have come to recognize that an adult’s view and experience of family are not the same as those of the child’s.

Identity is tidier if you are in the majority within society and/or your own family, and when you can recognize yourself in those around you.

If you are the zygote of the same race egg and sperm you don’t have to choose what to call yourself. If you grew up in a same race household and weren’t adopted or “different” in any way, you don’t know what it’s like to be a minority in your own home.

You need to be aware that as a parent you will never fully understand your child’s experience.

Of course this race stuff is nonsensical because we are all ape descendants. But historical social structure and stricture forces identity based on observable physical characteristics and genealogical lineage. In other words, on how we look.

No one can deny we live in an appearance-oriented, race conscious, inconsistent, and incongruous world.

And here’s the perfect proof: despite this country’s record of slavery and segregation and an intact hierarchical social system that highly values and still favors whites, the son of an African father and white American mother has a chance to win the highest office in the land. What’s more, his good looks and tall stature and light skin are part of the picture.

When interracial families are formed not through intermarriage but via adoption, the dynamic is different. The choice is purely intentional. Transracial adoption has expanded to other countries and includes Asian, Hispanic, Latino, and indigenous children the world over.

Each adoption route carries a unique parental commitment and responsibility. All require effort and sensitivity and knowledge.

We in the adoption field have come to realize families need to consider carefully and prepare well when they adopt a child of a race not their own. They need to incorporate, honor, integrate, and accommodate their child’s racial heritage and birth culture. They need to understand their status will change forever once they become an interracial family. And they need to be willing to relinquish their sense of white middle class entitlement they take for granted.

The concept of race is emotionally laden; socially, psychologically and economically complex; and a great influence in the adoption process. For example, a family may want a child from China but not from Brazil. Another may favor a Guatemalan child over an Ethiopian one. Yet another may shy away from any but a Russian.

Adoption is not the time to be politically correct.

You are allowed to exercise your personal preferences. If you parent the child you desire things will be better for all involved. But you need to understand that adopting a Korean, Vietnamese, or any child who is not Caucasian also makes your family interracial.

And if you are willing and honest enough to admit how your choice is a reflection of broader social values, you will better understand the world that awaits your child.

Living in a diverse neighborhood, availability of resources, having neighbors, friends, and associates who share your child’s race and heritage, are some important factors to take into account.

Think long and hard and examine your feelings. Learn as much you can. And be aware that your child might not always appreciate the choice you made.

Transracial adoption is multifaceted and knotty but can also expand, fulfill, enrich, and bring pleasure to your life. Before you travel across racial lines, make sure it is what you want. Make sure you embrace it for sound reasons. Above all, make sure you feel good and comfortable and secure about your decision.

And then, enjoy the journey!

Copyright 2008 by Andrea Troy. For information, contact relatedarticles.com

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